Script Help and critique

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I just finished writing a 45 pages script for a 20-25 minute video that I’m shooting for my videography class.  I need help finalizing the script before i turn it in on Monday. I need a tutor to help me proofread it and critique any parts that don’t mesh well with the overall story. The premise of the story is about a young man named Nathaniel that lived a hard life. His parents were killed when he was only 4 years old and then became an orphan and moved around a lot until he got stuck at a boy’s home when he turned 15. Nathan is declared homeless by the city council after his home burns down on his 17th birthday. The video starts up when he is standing on a bridge contemplating suicide when an old man starts to talks to him. Thanks in advance.